The Way

I had never heard of El Camino before seeing the Way, but I was immediately inspired by it. Traveling the El Camino is even now on my bucket list. More than anything I think I am drawn by the rugged beauty of the region and the idea of solitude. I found it almost shocking that most of the pilgrims on the El Camino started their journey's alone. I come from a large family where the words solitude and silence are not in our vernacular. I have always done everything with at least a partner if not a squad of people beside me, family or friends. The idea of doing a 2 month pilgrimage alone is simultaneously fascinating and daunting to me. I would love to be alone with my thoughts that long, but I also think I might get bored of myself.
Reading Rebecca Gallo's article about the integral role of religion in her pilgrimage intrigues me as well. My Catholic religion has had varying influence on my life. There have been times when I was more devout than I am now. I suppose I am slightly skeptical of taking any religion all too seriously, if that makes sense. My best friend is Jewish, and so we often share our religious ideas. I, at times, feel that I belong to no particular religion, although my core beliefs remain Catholic. Perhaps personally doing the El Camino would help me feel less confused about religion, but then again, I do not really think that I would ever come to a distinct answer about where my faith is. Sometimes I feel bogged down by the dogmas of the Catholic Church with which I disagree. In the film, I think Jack from Ireland felt the same way. He refused even to go inside churches along the Camino. However, by the end, he does go inside the cathedral at Santiago de Compostela. I think it is because the pilgrimage has given him the chance to see the Catholic faith out of its rigid context of churches and priests and nuns. Maybe the Camino would give me the same experience. Or maybe more aptly, the El Camino would show me a different facet or perspective of the mystery and beauty of faith.

Nigeria

My friend and I were recently discussing why it has taken so long for America and other powerful international countries to get involved or at the least become aware of this situation and we boiled it down to the fact that no one really cares about Africa. It sounds horrible, but Africa is treated like this far away place that is not populated by the same kind of humans as everywhere else. Crisis like the Rwandan genocide and the crisis in Darfur have shown a general lack of commitment or steady interest towards Africa in general. Of course it is much more complex than this, and another massive component of crisis like the one in Nigeria are the corrupt governments and general lack of infrastructure in African countries. As Johnnie Carson in the NPR article states, the Nigerian government may like military aid, but it does not especially enjoy the lessons and lectures from Americans on human rights. I imagine that it is incredibly frustrating to have a foreign entity barge into your way of life and tell you how everything needs to change. American and Western attention spans are short; we lack the patience (and adequate funds) to consistently offer support and help to impoverished African nations. That is the only way to ensure things like this from happening so often. Subsequently, it seems understandable (albeit irresponsible) that the Nigerian government would not want to admit that they had allowed 300 school girls to be kidnapped and ransomed because it would only bring the government more external scrutiny and criticism.
If it was the Mount, I do not think the kidnapping would have even been fully executed before authorities were notified. It would be national news within an hour. There would be no hesitation from the government to step in and help because an atrocity like that is unheard of in our country. Yet somehow, when we hear that it is happening in Africa it suddenly seems to be a normal occurrence for that war-torn continent.

IVF

IVF has become a controversial subject since its inception in the late 70s because of the vast amount of pros and cons of the subject. IVF can be a very positive course of action for a married couple that wants children but are physically unable to conceive alone. The Bible and the Catholic Church encourage procreation, and it is natural for adults to want to have children of their own any way possible. IVF is an innovative and safe measure to help people conceive children. However, there are major consequences. First, in order to higher the rate of conception through IVF, scientists make extra embryos which can be saved but are often eventually destroyed. The Catholic Church, supporting the sanctity of life at conception, does not condone this practice. In addition, Father Thomas Nairn makes a valid point in saying that the process of IVF becomes more centralized on the parents wanting children than on what the child needs. However, this ultimate desire for children is perpetuated by our culture. On TV shows and in media, adults are depicted comically "trying" for a baby in seeming desperation. I do not think this phenomenon is directly correlated to IVF alone, but a culture of people who expect to get exactly what they want when they want it. Brother Sulmasy says that when he councils young couples considering IVF he attempts to assure them that their self-worth and success in life is not solely dependent on procreation. I think this is a very valid point. Sometimes it seems that society expects the same out of every person, forcing people into identical cookie-cutter lives. I think parenthood is a great thing and very important but it is not necessary for enjoying or fully living life.
For the most part, I do not object to IVF. I was interested by the points that Father Nairn and Brother Sulmasy brought up concerning parent's needs and fulfillment versus a child's needs. However, I think that it is a beautiful thing for a couple to want children, and I think that should be encouraged. I do understand the objection to the destruction of embryos, but in the case of the Zimmerman family it seems that they opted not to discard embryos. Personally, I would prefer that most people participating in IVF also opt not to discard embryos, but I understand that today many people have many different definitions on the exact moment a life begins. I disagree with the Church on its stance against using third party eggs or sperm as dividing a family as well as the necessity of the sex component. The cost of IVF does seem excessive to me, but I do not believe that that in itself makes the practice immoral.

Mixed Messages

As Reimer-Barry said in her interview, the Catholic church and education tradition encourages a constant deepening of faith and questioning. There are also a myriad of great past Catholic leaders for young people to look up to, specifically women. However, women leaders in Catholicism, particularly saints, are viewed in limited terms. They are venerated for their holiness and especially their virginity. Even women saints are sexualized, making it difficult for today's young girls to identify with these respectable women. The literature and lexicon of the Church surrounding women can be similarly as limiting. Women are mainly portrayed as homemakers and forced to accept their menial roles in society and the Church. Motherhood is an important and powerful part of womanhood, but it is not the only part. As citizens of the 21st century, the Church should try to embrace the changing (improving) roles of women in society with more empowering language and overall inclusion for young women.
Going to an all-girls Catholic high school gave me the opportunity to embrace my own womanhood. The Mount has empowered me to be confident in my gender. However, I think my own growth in religion and spirituality as a woman has been largely based on the fact that I was educated at an all-girls school, not necessarily a Catholic school. Sometimes when I go to Church, I find the sermons or the psalms alienating. Like in TV and current media, it seems that women are only portrayed by the Church in two ways: evil and deceitful like Eve or pure and holy like Mary. There is no middle ground. I think that can be discouraging for young girls. When I was younger, my favorite saint was Joan of Arc because she was courageous and strong. At 17 years old, she led an entire army to victory with only her own conviction and belief in God. I found her to be a more relatable saint than Mary because she was a normal kid who was scared. She had faith, compassion, integrity, courage and fortitude. Those are female qualities that the Catholic church should espouse.

Dating

Is dating practice for divorce? I understand how it can be seen that way. Dating implies impermanence; a state that will inevitably end, perhaps in marriage or in a breakup. Data shows that divorce rates have risen, and maybe dating is to blame because we are now accustomed to impermanence. In a way, this makes sense to me. TV and movies often portray dating as cold and calculated excursions in which both parties only want something physical. While I do not want to pass judgment, this hardly seems healthy to me. On the other hand, the concept of dating is relatively new. Only in the past century have people experimented with dating as opposed to courtship or arranged marriage. Similarly, divorce is a relatively new concept. Although King Henry VIII was divorced, most people did not consider divorce respectable or viable until as late as the 1970s. Even now, I think of my grandparents' generation and can name only one couple I  know that got a divorce. Maybe divorce rates are rising because it is no longer as shameful or ill-perceived as it was only 50 years ago. Maybe dating is not that harmful because it gives us the tools to gain greater self-knowledge of ourselves and others. I think that properly and healthily established dating can lead to us finding stronger, more loving and more committed relationships that will last a lifetime.
The hook-up culture is a slightly different story. The hook-up culture glorifies physical aspects of relationships without giving any thought to the emotional and psychological ramifications and that can be destructive. I think this detached attitude can lead to personal problems far worse than divorce or future fleeting relationships. It creates an aura of depression and loneliness that can only be filled temporarily. That is scary.

The Changing Face of Marriage

My parents have never really stressed the importance of the Church in our lives, but now having talked about this redefinition of the Church, or the domestic church, I think my parents have embodied that. My parents taught my brother and I that love and trying to live in Jesus' footsteps were the most important things in life; everything else would follow after. Therefore, for the most part, I have no problem with the evolving types of families and marriage. My great-aunt recently told me how upset she was that her granddaughter was pregnant and unmarried, even though she and her boyfriend were in a committed and long-term relationship. I feel that as long as that child is loved and both my cousin and her boyfriend are happy than little else matters. I think there are consequences and difficulties no matter if you're married or long-term partners; there will always be a possibility of a break-up or a divorce. Personally, I am very afraid of getting a divorce (even with a college degree), probably because I watch too much Reba and I really would like to establish some version of the domestic church in my house. I am not sure that I want to raise my kids Catholic (I am not even sure that I want to get married or have kids), but I want to raise them with an idea of God and absolutely with the tradition of love that the Church encourages. I want my marriage to be an example for my children.

Love Story Reflection

As goofy as my grandparents are, I really admire their marriage. Much of my childhood was spent listening to their crazy stories about escapades in the Poconos, the Jersey Shore, and the movie theaters of Germantown. Over the years, I have developed deep respect for my grandparents' strong relationship and I hope someday to be able to have the same relationship with a boyfriend or husband.
My grandparents have taught me many things through their relationship, but what has always struck me is their humor, their support and their family values. As heard in the recordings, my grandfather especially always has a quick quip for whatever my grandfather says. He is always joking, and my grandmother is always laughing with him, even at the jokes that at this point in my career as his granddaughter, I have heard upwards of 20 times. I think the fact that my grandparents can laugh together exhibits what a strong relationship they have because of course life has not always been kind to them. However, they have always supported each other. They both grew up in very poor families in Germantown, Philadelphia. My grandfather, like most of his older siblings, was determined to make it out of Germantown, to make a better life for himself. He enrolled at La Salle University to get his bachelor's degree and my grandmother worked crazy hours to help pay for it. In 1980, my grandfather finally earned his MBA, and started to make his way in the world of banking and finance. I have always appreciated my grandmother in how supportive she was of my grandfather, even when it meant she had to work copiously as well as care for my mom and her siblings. Finally, I love how involved my grandparents are with the family. From a young age, my grandparents have imbued in me a deep sense of commitment to family. My grandmother mentioned how she has become the adoptive sister of my grandfather's sisters. I specifically asked her to talk about that facet of her relationship with my grandfather through his family because it has been so important to my childhood and it is something I want to emulate with my future significant other. I grew up very close to my great-aunts. In the same way that my grandmother is their sister, I am their granddaughter. My third cousin, Sarah, is actually one of my best friends and closest relatives because our grandmother's are best friends and our moms are best friends. I think that is not something many other families experience. If I ever have children or a husband, I want to follow my grandparents' example.
I love my grandparents and they have been such an integral part of my life as role models and their marriage inspires me.

Some say love...

One of my favorite love songs is "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. The chorus of the song says, "Home, let me go home, home is wherever I'm with you." I find that sentiment really heart-warming because it is so simple. Love is about being at home. Another one of my favorite songs says, "You're already home where you feel loved." That concept of being at home, of being comfortable and stable is really appealing to me. Home is what I look for in a relationship. In Lord Huron's "Time to Run," the narrator talks about love and relationships becoming intrinsic parts of you. Love is indelible - no one can take it from you, "I wanted everyone to know you're the girl for me/ I wanted everybody else in the world to know it/That I ain't ever gonna' let 'em take the life from me." I like the idea that your love with a person is unique to just the two of you and it is something that belongs entirely to you both. I think that is really powerful because the same cannot be said for much else in this world.
"You Can Call Me Al" is probably not considered by most as one of Paul Simon's love songs, but it is one of my favorites. Although it has a very upbeat pop melody, its lyrics are saturated with the anxieties and loneliness every person feels at some point. The song basically depicts a man who feels completely desolate and seeks companionship as inspiration. Love is his role model. Maybe it is not necessarily love in a romantic way either, but a love in friendship. He says, "If you be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal/And Betty when you call me, you can call me Al." I think we so often focus on the idea of soul-mates as romantic partners, but I do not believe that. First of all, I think there are many people in this large world with whom you are potentially compatible, and I believe there are different points in life at which different relationships (platonic or romantic) satisfy our needs somehow. My best friend, I think, could be one of my soul-mates. We have been best friends for 10 years, and for 7 of those years we have not lived near each other or gone to school together, but she is the person I am currently closest with in my life. I can share anything with her and her likewise. Our relationship is like that of Betty and Al's. We just work together; we support each other.
Finally, I think that while emotional intimacy is important to romantic relationships, we overlook the little things like being able to laugh together. Sinead O'Connor sings in her song "The Wolf is Getting Married" that, "you're smile makes me smile/you're joy gives me joy/you're hope gives me hope." I think humor and laughter in a relationship is so important. I think it is sweeter when my grandparents laugh together than when they show any other sign of affection. Someday, I hope to have a long term committed relationship, perhaps decades long as my grandparents' and still be able to laugh with my partner.

Miss Representation

I find it very distressing that girls are sexualized and objectified at such early ages. It worries me because my own sister is only nine years old and often times I hear her make comments about how she is too muscular and not skinny enough. It makes me sick to hear her say these things. One of my mom's friends has always told me that strong is beautiful, but clearly that is not what is being taught to my young impressionable sister. In the first place, my sister has a rebellious personality, so I worry that that coupled with any insecurity could lead her somewhere terrifying (dressing inappropriately and behaving inappropriately).
Personally, I have always dressed on the modest side, but I do not judge those who prefer to dress more  liberally. I think that sometimes we, society, accuse girls of dressing too revealingly or provocatively and this takes the burden of responsibility off of men. Of course, men are being raised in a society where media says it is okay to objectify a woman's body, but this should not exempt them from treating women like fellow human beings. Men need to know that just because a woman is dressed a certain way does not mean she is asking for anything and it is unfair and frankly disgusting for them to expect something of it. Historically, in these instances, women have always been the ones who should "know better" and men just "cannot help it." I think that notion is ridiculous and needs to change. I should not have to worry about what my sister wears for fear that her vulnerability will be abused by a presumptuous young boy.
Finally, I want to look forward to a world where my sister and I (and all women) will not face such degradation and sexism. I had never really thought that my gender would play a prominent role in my career, but since watching Miss Representation, I admit that I am slightly concerned. At the Mount, students have always been encouraged to be women of "courage and conviction," to speak up and out for what we believe in. It scares me to think that I may be entering the world where that is not always the case, and I naively ask myself why that is. More importantly, I want to help stop the discrimination, the objectification, the sexualization.

Vocation

In their reflections, Mr. Palmer and Fr. Martin both touch on the idea that vocation is about embracing yourself and who you are meant to be. They both assert the fact that vocation is a complex idea, encompassing one's personality, career paths and life goals. As a kid, I personally always imagined vocation very simply - either you were called to religious life or called to secular life. No one ever explained to me where these decisions were supposed to come from. Would God tell me or show me a sign as to my life purpose, or would I know inherently?
Fr. Martin and Mr. Palmer both assert that vocation is not something dictated to you by God, but something you find within yourself. Vocation comes from the gifts and talents that you were born with, that God gave you. As we grow older, we begin to understand our callings, our "selfhoods," as Palmer says. From this self-understanding, we can make informed decisions about our lives, our careers, goals and roles in life. Both excerpts also speak of acceptance, accepting who you are and striving only to be your best self, not someone else. While it is good to have role models, from Joan of Arc to Meryl Streep, we cannot be these people. There can only be one you, and it is a shame to waste it trying to be someone else.

Identity

My favorite part of the summer is any given Sunday morning at my grandparents shore house. Almost every Sunday, I know that I will wake up and come downstairs to find my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins and other miscellaneous neighbors or guests fighting over the limited dining room seating, the last drops of coffee, and the best sections of the Sunday paper. Whenever I think of summer, I think of the time spent with my family. We may not have to even say anything to each other, just grumbling and sticking our noses into separate sections of the Inquirer suffices as family bonding. During the winter months, even if I see my family members briefly every few weeks, I miss this intimate bonding time when we are all in one house together. My family has greatly influenced my own identity and made me a very family oriented person. Although I want to explore and experience new things in college, I do not want to be too far away from my family. I want to come to my grandparents house for Thanksgiving weekend and be able to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade in drowsily constructed forts. No matter where I go in life (physically and emotionally), I know that I can count on my family being there, and they can count on me to be there for them.

Another huge influence in my life has been my friends, specifically an elderly Jewish woman I met in the fifth grade. She worked at my school and often seemed kind of lonely, so my friends and I began to meet with her. It eventually developed into a great friendship. She taught us how to knit, and shared her favorite literature and music with us; effectively, she made us a part of her lives and we her. To this day, five of my friends and have "bagels and shmear" with her once a month. We call it the "Knitting Club," but in reality it is mostly just the "Watch Hallmark, Eat Bagels and Talk about Life Club." This 85-year-old woman has had a profound impact on my life. She has taught me patience and diligence and openness.

Finally, my siblings have been really influential and important to me in shaping my identity. When I was about four years old, my brother was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a disorder on the Autistic spectrum. It was difficult growing up with him. Going out places was a nightmare because he was completely out of control. He would get lost or throw tantrums. However, he has developed into an amazing person. After he was diagnosed, he was able to go to therapy, and now most people have no idea about his disorder. He is currently a sophomore taking senior level calculus classes at his high school, which is  mind-boggling to me. If anyone has taught me to be the victor of your circumstances, it is my brother. My sister was born when I was nine years old. Subsequently, I was like her mother more often than her sister. Part of me regrets that we never got to be really close as kids because by the time she was a kid, I was practically an adult. However, she has instilled in me a sense of motherliness and responsibility for others that I do not think I possessed before her.
Autism Awareness Link